Father's day

It is fifty years ago today that my bloganonymous best friend's dad died.

It is a solemn kind of milestone, and we talked about how to keep the day.

He left India in search of a new life here, and she remembers waiting as a child for his return.

He never did return. 

A funny, laughter-inducing, smart man, laden down with impressive degrees and with a good job in the Indian Government, he set out for England only to be met with the casual, callous  and unthinking racism of the mid-sixties. He had a huge determination to succeed, and an unquenchable thirst for learning.

In spite of all the obstacles he encountered, he was always striving, always looking to make a contribution, always working hard to build a future for his family.

He died, aged 34, of status asthmaticus. 

My friend lit a candle in her kitchen which burned quietly all day. She texted her brothers to do the same.

After 50 years of absence, no flame burns as brightly as he does in the hearts he touched.

Today reminded me of an earlier, similar heartbreak:

Ah, my God, what is this land called America ?
So many people travelling there
I will go too, for I am still young.
God, our Lord, will grant me good luck there.

You my wife, stay here till you hear from me.
When you get my letter, put everything in order.
Mount a raven-black steed, and fly like the wind
Fly across the ocean, to meet me here.

Ah, when she arrived in this strange land
Here in McKeesport, this valley of fire
Only his grave, his grave did she find
Over it bitterly, oh so bitterly she cried.

Ah, my husband, what have you done ?
What can you say to these children, to these children you've orphaned?
Tell them, my wife, not to wait, not to wait, not to wait for me
Tell them I lie here, in the American land.

And a day later, I thought of Horace's good advice:

                   Sapias: vina liques et spatio brevi 
spem longam reseces. Dum loquimur fugerit invida
aetas. Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero

Be smart: make wine, and cut back your long term ambitions to fit your short time. Even as we we talk, time has fled away. Make the most of today, and trust as little as possible to tomorrow.