Life's a beech....

Out here in the sticks, broadband may be broad, but fast it isn't. And probably never will be. This chunk of countryside isn't on anybody's plan for superfast broadband. Even medium fast would be a treat.

And making matters worse, the trees are ganging up on me. The cooper beeches at the bottom of the garden think they can get away with anything just because they are beautiful in all seasons. But they jostle the phone line coming in, and occasionally threaten to snap it altogether.

What to do ?

Tree surgeon ? Long loppers ?

More fun to climb on top of the car and get cracking.

Do not try this at home..... hooray for Rhino bars

Ready for some lopping action

The hop-up was standing on wood, and feet were held firmly in position by more bits of timber. Easy peasy.

It worked a treat

No, really.... I am still there

Being careful not to cut the phone line. Where is it again ?

The slight snaggette was that I could not get the car under the very last tree, so there was no option but to climb up it. This was not pretty. The camera can never lie, dear readers, and it says that feline grace and me are estranged. Both getting up and coming down were pretty equally disturbing visually, so I will spare you the sight.

But the phone line swings happily this evening in inky silence punctuated by cold stars. And the broadband is as fast as I am graceful.